South Park: Screw The System!
by RatherOddRanger
Summary: UPDATED WITH CHAPTER 3! The unwritten rule of the highschool system is 'cheerleaders only date jocks'. However after one sleazy boyfriend after another, Lola decides to try something different with her life. I guess you can call this a 'Kola' fanfic. Rated teen for implied sexual content and swearing.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Big shout out to Ixi-Nox, whom I originally pitched this too when she was taking one-shot requests to help get over her writers block. This little story (which maybe become an on-going) evolved from many of the email discussions we've had over various headcannons. Also a quick thank you to TimelessMystery and TCBN for also featuring this coupling in thier own fanfics.

**South Park: **

**Screw The System!**

''MISTER WORF ENGAGE!''

The words echoed loudly in Kevin's room despite the fact Kevin wasn't in his own bed.

He was however in his parents large double bed and was slowly opening his eyes, mentally cursing himself for not turning off his alarm.

Granted, he hates letting a good day go to waste, but it was 7am and a Sunday for crying out loud, his parents were away visiting friends for the weekend and he was still sleepy after the events of last night.

The very 'passionate' and 'unbelievable' events of last night. Events that if a fortune teller told 9 year old Kevin about back in 4th grade, he would have called them a liar, demanded his money back and cried out 'shenanigans!'

He didn't want to get out of the warm covers just to turn off his alarm and then walk back to his parents room.

''MISTER WORF ENGAGE!''

The reminder alarm went off and Kevin grunted annoyingly, once again cursing under his breath for his lack of fore sight.

He was about to fall back asleep when he suddenly felt someone's hand lightly touching his chest. It stirred him slightly but then his eyes shot open instantly when the same hand then grasped a particular body part.

Despite last night he still wasn't 100% used to someone else touching that part of his body.

''MISTER WORF ENGAGE!''

''Leave it'' a half awake voice mumbled as Kevin turn over onto his back, to look at the young beauty laying next to him.

Lola was her name and despite being one of the most popular girls in the school, despite being once the 'arm candy' (god he hated that word) of some of the jocks (or sexist pigs as she called them) and despite being a cheerleader, she, Lola, this goddess as Kevin called her, found him, yes him being Kevin, attractive!?

He could still the remember the silence that filled the school cafeteria when she shouted ''screw the system!'', grabbed him by his shirt collar and proceeded to make out with him in front of her fellow cheerleaders.

He could still remember hearing Bebe going ''They actually look cute together'', the cheers from Stan, Wendy, Kyle, Clyde, Butters and from anyone who called him 'friend' and the look of complete shock on the faces of various jocks when they parted for air.

Then he grabbed his water bottle, Lola her lipsel, they then swapped and went back to where they left off followed by a ''Holy shit dude!'' from Kyle.

''Hey Lola, getting horny for a nerd? That's fucking gay!'' he remembered hearing the scumbag Eric Cartman saying, followed quickly by ''SHUT THE FUCK UP CARTMAN'' almost at once by various others.

''MISTER WORF ENGAGE!''

He sighed in defeat and slowly moved to get out of bed, he had to turn that bloody alarm off. However fate or rather Lola had other plans as she wasted no time in grabbing his waist.

''No!'' She said. 'Stay, that's an order' she jokingly said, pulling him back into bed.

Kevin was about to reply but the second he opened his mouth, Lola took advantage and got him with a kiss, her hands slowly moving around his back.

It was only a series of gentle kisses, little pecks really nothing too passionate, or at least not yet.

Soon Lola stopped and moved her head to rest upon Kevin's chest, quite happy to stay there until she felt more awake.

Kevin on the other hand had other ideas as he closed his eyes and began to think back to how he ended up in this situation, how he got a cheerleader to be his girlfriend (which his parents didn't believe until they met her) and how, this very second, he never wanted to let her go ….


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: As always a big thank you to Ixi-Nox for helping me to flush out the headcannon for KevinXLola, I decided to do a little nod to one of her fanfics in this.  
It's called 'Ache Of Seasons' and is well worth checking out.  
Also quick shout out to Majuscule Milquetoast for betareading, I was looking for one hence the delay. bright side is, chapter 3 is done and ready to post within the week.

_March 22__nd_

''I guess that confirms it.'' Lola said to herself as she looked out onto the school's field, the sight before her explaining how and why Kenny had turned her down back in February.

She had decided to skip gym as they were due a 'health presentation' lesson, lord knows what it was about but she was in no mood for it but was hoping to find Kenny.

Well find him yes, just not with AND kissing Craig Tucker AKA Mr Flip Off.

She clutched the birthday card in her hand, Wendy had mentioned to her it was Kenny's birthday and had suggested to Lola getting him a card or a gift if she still had a crush on him.

She did, sort of, Kenny despite being labelled a pervert back in elementary school, had a pretty good reputation of treating women with respect when dating and was notorious for beating up anyone who didn't listen to the word 'no'.

Prime example when Dave Darsky tried to keep feel up her boobs during their 2nd date despite her saying no repeatedly.

Apparently he didn't notice Kenny, Stan and Wendy sitting directly behind them who all took turns beating the crap out of him within seconds of Lola slapping him in the face.

She had completely forgot how good a right hook Wendy had and apparently so had Dave when he was attempting to pick up his teeth.

A month after that she tried asking Kenny out, Wendy and Bebe had suggested him as boyfriend material and was sadly shot down. Credit where credit's due Kenny did try his best to let her down gently and she wasn't entirely that upset but it did knock her confidence a bit.

''How could anyone say no to this?'' She remembered Bebe borderline yelling and pointing at her or to be more precise her body, whilst Wendy trying her best to cool her best friends temper.

''I'll … I'll talk to Stan …'' Wendy mumbled nervously, she hadn't expected Kenny to say no to Lola like that. It was evident she wasn't used to these types of plans backfiring on her like this.

They suggested to her that she could try again on Bebe's Valentine Party instead, Lola remembered rolling her eyes to that but agreed regardless, even if it didn't work she could still have some kind of fun.

Not to her surprise it didn't work, Wendy had disappeared (funny enough so had Stan, no surprise there) Bebe was chatting to Dogpoo who was helping to serve drinks, his mom ran a night club so he had experience making cocktails and her BFF Jenny was sitting on the lap of her boyfriend Pete Melman passionately making out with him.

Yes, THAT Pete Melman or as Lola and Bebe prefer to jokingly called him 'Stan 2.0' and NO it wasn't a cruel nickname, it was more to do with the fact that like Stan, Pete was insanely loyal to his girlfriend even if they went on a temp break up.

Lola continued to search the cabin until she got outside to find both Craig and Tweek who were sitting at each side of Kevin, the school's resident nerd and film maker watching something on his IPad.

Well fan film maker, Lola had spent a couple of weekends helping with the make up for some of the actors after Esther's suggested it. At the time Lola just wanted to forget what happened with Dave so she decided to help out not realising she would actually enjoy it.

Kevin was clearly more then just your typical nerd, he was very creative and seeing how his dad owned the local storage firm, he was about to get enough space to build a fairly decent replicate of a Star Trek bridge.

She had no idea which one mind, but she thought it looked impressive and many Friday's she'd end up offering to help Kevin test all of the lights and equipment before filming the next day.

Kevin noticed her and said hi and offered his chair within seconds saying they were overlooking an edit of the fan film they were working on, but she quickly declined and asked if anyone had seen Kenny.

Craig quickly pointed out he was upstairs asleep whilst grabbing Kevin's Ipad mumbling a question about how you press rewind on whatever scene they were watching.

Lola said thanks and literally before turning to head back in, she thought for a second she saw a look on Kevin's face, a look of as if someone had just punch him in the stomach.

Thinking back it's only just occurred to her that maybe … just maybe Kevin was a bit heartbroken.

Did he have a crush on her? Bebe had commented once that it was clear that Lola was a 'head turner' to a lot of people, boys and girls alike.

''Crap'' Lola mumbled, she wishes she had noticed that back then especially after she did find Kenny fast asleep in Bebe's room and mumbling ''Craig … kiss me'' as he slept.

''Maybe … maybe it's just a dream. I mean it's Kenny McCormick, there's no way he's gay …. Right?'' She remembered thinking to herself at the time, well NOPE after Lola just saw today, she got her confirmation now.

Lola quickly shoved the birthday card back into her backpack, she decided she'll give it to Kenny later, when he wasn't busy making out with Craig Tucker on the school's sports field.

''Better keep this to myself, just in case. Don't want to be a bitch like Heidi and blab like what happened with poor Kyle. I really don't want to be 'that' girl who outs them before they're ready.'' She thought, after Kenny was still a good guy, not his fault he liked guys. She tried to smile at the idea that Craig Tucker had good taste but she couldn't. Memories of Bridon, Dave and Ryan the North Park football captain came back.

''Better this way then how I found out about Bridon.'' She quietly mumbled as she remember how he had cheated on her with a guy named Brad Dixon back when they used to date during the last year of middle school

She started thinking about how her track record with guys wasn't the best and this brought a slight tear to her eye as she walked away, hoping, praying nether Kenny or Craig hadn't noticed her. She BADLY didn't want to cause a scene.

She sighed to herself, maybe she should take up Red's offer of a date she thought., it's not like her luck with guys was going anywhere and that thought started letting more tears flow down her cheeks.

However someone had noticed her and more importantly noticed she had started to cry but she hadn't noticed them until she saw a hand holding a tissue right in front of her.

She look up, a little startled at first until she saw the very concerned and worried face of Kevin Stoley.

''Hey Lola, sorry for making you jump, you ok?'' He asked with a nervous smile.

Lola noted to herself it was evident in his body language that he didn't have a clue how to help mind, but she could tell he was worried about her.

She could tell from those kind green eyes of his that he was genuinely worried about her before she pull him close and into a hug before burying her head into his chest and letting it all out.

Kevin blinked before finally realising he needed to wrapped his arms around Lola, hoping it offered some comfort. She just needed a shoulder to cry on he thought to himself and if anyone knew how that felt, that feeling of loneliness when you just wanted to cry, it was him.

_Present Day_

That was nearly over four weeks ago Lola thought to herself but then her thoughts were interrupted by what Kevin was currently doing to her under the covers.

She tilted her head back and let out a small moan, a smile forming on her face before finally resting back down.

Within a minute Kevin's head pop from under the covers as he wiped his mouth clean.

''How was that?'' He eagerly asked her as he positioned himself beside her, his arm around her waist.

Lola smiled at Kevin as she pulled him into a quick kiss, making sure to move him onto his back, both of them moaning as the kiss deepened.

She wanted to be in full control for the next part. She looked into those caring green eyes of his that she loved so deeply as she slowly lowered her lips closer and closer to his right ear.

''Pretty good, you're definitely getting more comfortable, more confident at this.'' She whispered into his ear seductively as a evil grin appeared on her face as soon as she came back into Kevin's view.

''But don't worry, practice makes perfect.'' She licked her lips as Kevin gulped.

''He looks so cute when he's nervous.'' She thought as she kissed her boyfriend's cheek. ''Four weeks ago, Kevin found me upset, comforted me and helped me feel better about myself.'' She kissed his cheek again.

''Three weeks of being my friend, before asking me out to the movies with that nervous look on his face.'' She moved down and kissed his bare chest. ''That look of worry in his lovely green eyes. He was so scared I would say no.''

Lola tilted her head upwards slightly, just enough to see Kevin staring back at her, sweat pouring down his head, his breathing heavy, his eyes screaming 'for the love of God don't stop' as a smile formed on her lips again.

''It took a while.'' She thought back to how he first acted. ''He was so nervous, he admitted I was his 1st everything, the sweat would pour off him when we held hands in public but thankfully he got better at it alongside his making out skills. Good thing too considering what happened in the cafeteria.''

She let out a little laugh as she moved her hand across his bare chest reassuringly, loving the low pleasurable moans coming from her boyfriend.

''Now it's my turn'' Lola said as she licked her lips before her head completely disappeared under the bed cover.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: One again, big shout out and thank you to Majuscule Milquetoast for beta reading.

_'RING! RING! RING! PHONE CALL! PHONE CALL!'_

Kevin groaned as his phone rang, but it wasn't a groan in annoyance. At that exact moment he was currently under the covers of his parents double bed alongside his girlfriend, the sound of them giggling, kissing and groaning/moaning in pleasure drowning out the rather familiar ring tone.

What Kevin didn't know however, was that a certain teenager the size of a moon was currently standing outside his front door alongside his usual friends namely Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Butters.

''That rice stirring a-hole isn't answering!'' Cartman as he flung his phone onto the ground in anger.

''Careful Cartman'' Kyle began ''Otherwise your mom will need to go back to crack whore magazine to be able to afford you a replacement.'' He smiled and let out a chuckle as the others soon burst into a laughing fit.

''Shut up, you gay ginger Jew!'' Cartman roared into Kyle's face, Stan immediately stepped in front of his super best friend.

''Watch it fatty!'' He snarled. ''Blue cap is the school's boxing champion and I'd suspect he'd be mighty annoyed if he found out you were insulting his ….'' Stan stopped and then smiled before turning to Kyle with that mischievous look of his.

''Say Kyle, what was Blue's little name for you again?''

Kyle rolled his eyes and covered his face in embarrassment. Deep down he was thankful it was Stan who had caught him and his new boyfriend and not someone worse, like say his mom.

''SSSSSTTTAANN!'' Kyle moaned into his hands in embarrassment as Cartman started pounding his fist onto Kevin's front door.

''Craig says I have a natural talent.'' Kenny commented as he licked his lips. Cartman let out a ''O god damn it'' whilst Stan chuckled. He loved seeing all of his closest friends happy and he especially loved to see Cartman suffer over said friends happiness.

He smiled as he knew how to rub it in ''Yeah Wendy and Bebe both commented I'm VERY generous in that department.''

Butter's eyes went wide at Stan's comment. ''You're not cheating on Wendy are you Stan? Golly I know Bebe has, as Clyde said 'awesome tits' but Wendy, well she's so nice an-''

Stan quickly cut Butter's off, he forgot the innocent guy was out of the loop.

''No, no, dude, you've got it all wrong.'' Stan said reassuringly to Butters. ''For my last birthday, Wendy my super awesome girlfriend, surprised me with a three way. Apparently Bebe wanted to hear if the stuff Wendy was saying to her about me was true.''

''Lucky.'' Kenny commented under hood, before raising his hand to do a high five with Stan.

''Wow neato'' Butters exclaimed with his usual cheery smile. ''That's pretty cool, I've never been invited by two girls before, only a girl and her boyfriend.''

''Wait … What?'' Cartman said in shocked as he turned round to face Butters.

Butters let out a nervous laugh as he rubbed his hands together upon realising what he had just said.

''Please don't tell my parents that I'm a 3rd wheel that other couples use for sex.''

The guys all look at Butters in shock before Cartman turned back to resume his knocking.

''Why are we here again?'' Kenny asked the group. Cartman wanted to use Kevin's basement for a meeting but no one had a clue why.

''Kevin you dick weed! Open the fucking door!'' Cartman shouted even louder until Kyle grabbed his arm.

''Cartman, shut up and listen for 5 seconds.''

They all went silent as the sound of someone running downstairs in a hurry could be heard.

''Finally'' Cartman exclaimed as the sound of the door being unlocked was soon followed.

''Well it's about time Kev-'' Cartman began but then stopped mid sentence at the sight before him. In fact all of the boys had to stop for a minute to allow their brains to take in the sight before them.

''WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM FATTY!'' Lola screamed into Cartman's face, wearing only her panties and her boyfriends blue Star Trek shirt.

''Wow'' Kyle thought to himself, ''She was serious?'' As the memories from the other day in the school's cafeteria re-entered his mind.

_The other day_

''GOD DOESN'T EXIST!'' Eric Cartman declared as he banged his fist down on the cafeteria table hard, so hard in fact that certain people's drinks spilled over into their food.

''Wow Cartman thanks, I really wanted my cheeseburger to taste like pepsi cherry.'' Stan complained as he attempted to salvage what was left of his fries.

''HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU GUYS JUST SIT HERE AND TOLERATE THIS!?'' Cartman bellowed as he stood up to point at what was pissing him off so much.

The table of guys turned to see what exactly had pissed off Cartman so much, he had been complaining throughout the school day with comments such as 'they don't belong together' and 'how did that nerd score before me?'.

''God help whoever pissed off Cartman'' Kyle thought to himself as he was the last to turn his head. However just before he did, he caught sight of the face on Clyde's face, a face filled with a bizarre mixture of shock and confusion.

Kyle then quickly turned to the usually stone faced Craig who also had his mouth opened a gasped whilst his boyfriend Kenny slowly took hold of his hand and gave it a tight squeeze, his eyes wide in surprise. Thank God Cartman did not notice, THAT.

He turned to his super best friend Stan, who had a almost borderline catatonic look in his eyes. Kyle clicked his fingers in front of Stan's eyes, no response. ''Earth to Stan?'' He said to him as he tried it again alongside waving his hand in front of his face.

Hell Wendy and Bebe making out in front of him probably would not have snapped him out of it, then again it wasn't like Stan had not seen that before.

''Some guys get all the luck.'' Kyle muttered under his breath, a hint of jealously evident if anyone had heard him.

After quickly looking at the other guys, Cartman who was still standing and pointing repeating the words ''See! Do you See?'' over and over again, Butters who was gently taping his fists together, red with embarrassment ''We really shouldn't stare fellas …'' he kept mumbling.

Token was already on his phone, softly saying what he was typing. Kyle figured it would be Nicole seeing how he overheard him use the word 'babe' but he weren't really paying 100% attention to the whole conversation.

Kyle nearly laughed when he saw Tweek, the guy had stopped shaking all together, his eyes glued on whatever had shocked them all.

''Ok this had better be good'' Kyle said aloud as he turned around, he hated it when Cartman interrupted their lunch break for some bizarre stupid reason like this.

Kyle turned, he looked, slightly raised his eyebrow, let out an annoyed sigh and turned back to finish whilst the others still looked on in confusion and shock.

''Honestly what's the big deal? It's just Kevin and Lola holding hands and sharing their lunch together with two straws in a bottle of coke.'' Kyle said out loud as he went back to eating his pizza but then it dawned on him.

''Wait …. Kevin and Lola!?'' as he dropped his pizza and spun around so quickly he nearly knocked Stan off his place on the bench.

They were now all staring at the scene before them, Kevin and Lola were sitting together, holding hands whilst Lola was eating some pizza with her free hand, her eyes glued on Kevin.

Kevin was several shades of red as he was quickly writing in his note book, occasionally glancing to Lola and asking something before return to write something down once she had answered.

''Say fellas …'' Butters began ''Do you think their dating or something?''

None of them answered Butters but instead turned to one another, now the question had been asked.

''There's no way me and Stan couldn't have heard about this.'' Token offered.

''Yeah'' Stan began 'Wendy and Nicole would have mentioned something by NOW.'' Stan said as he then turned back to the sight of Kevin and Lola.

''THIS IS WRONG!'' Cartman bellowed to the group once again. Kenny sighed as Craig looked at him confused.

''Just leave them be fat ass, you're just jealous that everyone but you is getting laid!'' Kenny stated before planting a quick kiss on Craig's cheek, a layer of crimson embarrassment appearing on his face.

Craig showing some form of emotion other then anger or hell ANY form of emotion was still new to the group.

''Weirder things have happened.'' Stan began, ''Right Kyle?'' A grin appeared on this face as he playfully elbowed him, a little reminder of who he had caught in bed with Kyle last weekend.

Now it was Kyle's turn to blush, ''Can we not discuss that here?'' He mumbled as he quickly then turned his gaze to a certain someone named Brad Dixon, who had the nickname of 'Blue Cap' back in South Park Elementary.

''Yeehaw.'' Stan said to Kyle with a chuckle.

Token was about to ask what Stan was going on about when he suddenly noticed a certain group of people, ''Heads up guys'' He began ''But looks like trouble is heading Kevin and Lola's way''.

The gang quickly turned back to see the Wendy, Bebe, Jenny, Heidi and Red heading towards where the new couple sat.

Stan shrugged, ''I thought you said something about 'trouble' dude? Had me worried then.'' He chuckled as Token just shook his head.

'No not them, granted Heidi looks angry, I meant Cartman, he's just marched over there looking super pissed off.''

''Actually'' Craig began in that monotone voice of his. ''I think it's also to do with Kenny kissing me and me then flipping off Cartman for looking disgusted at us.''

He then picked up his burger, taken a rather large bite of it whilst mumbling something about Cartman being an arsehole or something. Craig wasn't too fussed if anyone heard him, he just wanted to finish his meal uninterrupted, but that was looking doubtful.

''Seriously why do we hang out with Cartman or even listen to him?'' Clyde asked as he stared over at Kevin and Lola's table with a worried look.

''Kevin's not a bad guy and I know Lola's luck in guys hasn't been great, why is Cartman getting so pissed off about it?'' He asked the group.

''Kevin's parents are Chinese.'' Kyle began having recovered from Stan's little joke. ''In his mind Kevin should only date Chinese girls.''

''So what your saying is Cowboy Kyle, is that Cartman is being racist again?'' Stan asked as a grin appeared on his face, waiting for his super best friend's reaction.

''Yeah pretty mu-WAITAMINUTE! What did you just call me?'' Kyle asked wide eyed in shock.

Stan let out a laugh but it was soon cut short when they all heard the raised voices coming from the group at Kevin and Lola's table.

If the boys had been closer they would had heard the following a lot clearer.

''Stay out of this Fatty or do you want another beating?'' From a very angry Wendy.

''Back off hoe!'' Cartman let out in fear.

''My brother!? Gross!'' Cried Esther.

''O and me catching you making out with Jason isn't?'' Kevin shot back at his twin.

''Why didn't you say sooner? Me and Pete have been looking for another couple to go on double dates with.'' Jenny asked her best friend with a mixture of happiness and curiosity.

''OMG! We should do a couples only party at my place next week!'' Nicole let out with excitement.

''Well there goes my shot ….'' Red mumbled not in regards to Kevin but more Lola.

''Are you insane Lola?'' Heidi angrily shouted at her.

''Excuse me?'' Lola snapped back at Heidi.

''Of all of the guys in this school you pick Kevin Stoley? The king of the nerds? The same guy we voted back in elementary school would lose his v-card to a hooker!?'' Heidi continued.

Kevin went wide eyed in worried, however Lola noticed and came to his defence. ''Heidi we were like 9 at the time for pity's sake, people grow up and change!''

''Heck it was a list, we voted Cartman no.1 remember?'' Jenny added.

''WHAT!? YOU FUCKING WHORES!'' Cartman shouted only to get a punch to the face from Wendy.

''STAY AT OF THIS LARD ASS!'' She screamed at him whilst adding a few hard kicks.

''Yeah leave them alone you pricks!'' Bebe shouted angrily at Heidi and then joined Wendy in kicking Cartman a few times.

''What the heck is your problem Heidi?'' Kevin asked in annoyance.

''My problem …'' She began ''Is this namely you and Lola dating breaks the high school system!''

Everyone went silent until Kevin spoke up.

''Huh?''

Heidi rolled her eyes. ''Cheerleaders should only date jocks!'' She crossed her arms, thinking she had made a valid point.

She hadn't, in fact the group just looked at Heidi in confusion and shock, when the hell did she develop a Eric Cartman style dating mentality? They all thought.

Lola took a deep breath, she knew people would give her crap over her new taste in men but this?

''You know what Heidi?'' Lola began. ''SCREW THE SYSTEM!'' She shouted into her face before grabbing Kevin and pulling him into a very, VERY passionate kiss for all to see.

At first they were all speechless but then soon people starting letting out cheers of support. Cartman even tried to make a joke but all he got were people telling him to shut up and a kick in the nuts from Wendy.

Reluctantly Lola broke the kiss as she wasn't finished with Heidi just yet.

''You taste like strawberries … '' She whispered to him before turning her attention to a stunned Heidi.

''You know what?'' Lola began. ''Instead of screwing the system, I think I'll screw my boyfriend instead!'' She announced to a wide eyed group.

''Sorry girls looks like I'm busy Saturday now, you'll have to get Emily or Tammy to sub for me, sorry.'' Lola said with a smile to her friends (minus Heidi) whilst grabbing Kevin by the hand and leaving the cafeteria full of several shocked high school students.

For roughly a minute there was silence until Stan finally spoke up.

''Holy shit dude!''


End file.
